I like the article very much because my disability is psychological. Sometimes though, the context is quite different, as I'm not achieving so much.Yet I think I am and I'm encouraged to read that it's o.k. to 'ego boost' a bit and still be 'ordinary'. Yes it's bloody hard at times but aren't we lucky to be--- "living our lives." thankyou for the article, really.

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Hi Tully, I love your article. This is something that I also ponder over. I get comments like "Oh you're amazing, or "I don't know how you do it", or the famous one, "your so inspirational". Comments like those leave me asking why? I am just doing what everyone else does, like you said, nothing extraordinary. I work part-time, while recently finishing study part-time, regular appointments, and caring for my Ex. Also, like you said it is natural that we all want compliments and encouragement, however, the compliments are more condescending than genuine pats on the back for a job well done and that is the problem. I often wonder what 'inspirational' really means, I hate being called that. I think your article gets to the crux of its true meaning. People are really saying, if we were you we couldn't do that, but THEY COULD because they wouldn't know any different. And yes, maybe 'we' do inspire people, but the mentality is that we are 'amazing', or 'strong', so that is what gets us through our lives, and therefore the 'mere mortals' should kick themselves up the bum and get on with it. Basically, 'everyone' could be capable of living the life they choose, not what is or is not expected of them. Equality in living for me is about not putting people on a pedestal or down in the gutter. So, thanks.

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Unfortunately a lot of people are just plain unaware of these issues, and the last thing that would cross their mind is that they could be coming across as being patronising because they are treating someone as "different". For a lot of people, a compliment is a compliment, end of story (unless they were on the receiving end of this kind of discrimination). It's like if a man says that a woman is "independent" if she pays for herself (like, why should it be any different from a man paying for himself), or if a nurse in a hospital says "Little Miss Independent" if a patient does something they are perfectly capable of doing (and in a rehab hospital where the idea is supposed to be pushing limits to get back to normal quickly)! I find too, a lot of people, especially women talking to other women, tend to be gushy and exaggerate with the slightest things, saying "Oooo, you're so brave, you're so strong...." a kind of women-speak of building each other up, that is perhaps not intended to be taken too literally. Back to the issue of disability, it comes down to people simply not thinking, not realising that their "complements" are implying "Because you have xxx disability, by the natural order of things you're not supposed to be able to do the things the rest of us do!"

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I think part of it also, is people tend to think it's a big deal if anyone does anything different from themselves, for example if they hear of anyone walking anywhere or travelling anywhere by any means other than by driving. Also some people think it's "brave" for a woman to travel overseas or even interstate alone! Another issue, some music teachers think it's impressive that I drive to other suburbs to teach music while I teach music at home, and their justification of this is "but you have to take all your stuff with you"....er, what am I missing here, do they imagine the people who have jobs other than music teaching all somehow have it so much easier? This kind of thinking really puzzles me, but seems it's a "normal" kind of narrow thinking!

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I've been thinking further about your article. I don't know whether or not in your case you've had to work harder than a person without a disability would, to achieve the things you have achieved. But even if that's the case, you have done the same as what everyone does: made your choices and prioritised to make your life the best it can be.... so I can there is nothing so "amazing" about NOT choosing to live a limited, less fulfulling life just because you have a disability!

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